Appeal to My Sense of Entitlement

Client $$$ I threw onto a cat

Make it rain (on a cat)

This is where I’m supposed to write “SPOIL ME PIG!” right?

Too bad. Not my style.

Instead, I am inviting you to buy me tasteful gifts or send griploads of money. Let me give you some pointers…

  1. I always, always appreciate donations made to mutual aid funds like Lysistrata and organizations like SWOP Behind Bars. That is a valid way to give me an excellent gift.
  2. Please don’t try to buy me jewelry on your own. Ask first. Alternatively, you can check out my Etsy gift list here.
  3. I love vintage books and vinyl. You can generally find these on my Amazon or Etsy lists.
  4. My cats love presents. I love my cats. Do the math.
  5. I sort of love fancy candles lately? My house smells so decadent. My favorite brand is Voluspa currently – I hate anything that smells like food or fruit. Stick with spicy, woody, or floral scents.
  6. Dress size 6/8. Medium in tops. Size 10 shoes. 34C. Also, please don’t choose clothes for me. This is a size reference guide. Your taste is gross and terrible. Just ask me what I want. I’ve thrown out 99% of the things any man has ever sent me.
  7. All cash gifts result in candid photos of the shopping trip/travel/dinners you unlock.
  8. My birthday is October 31st.

I have an amazon wishlist here. Gift cards also work.

I have an Etsy wish list here. Gift cards also work.

If you ask very politely, you may have my P.O. Box.