Appeal to My Sense of Entitlement

This is where I’m supposed to write “SPOIL ME PIG!” right?

Too bad, I’m not going to. Not my style.

Instead, I am inviting you to buy me tasteful gifts or send griploads of money. Let me give you some pointers…

  1. Please don’t try to buy me jewelry on your own. Ask first.
  2. I love vintage books. Good ones, though. If you send me some bullshit by the Bronte sisters, I will personally hunt you down and rip your skin off.
  3. My cats love presents. I love my cats. Do the math.
  4. I will always, always accept charitable donations made in my name as a totally valid gift. Ask me for a list of my favorite charities!
  5. I sort of love fancy candles lately? My house smells so decadent. My favorite brand is Voluspa – I hate anything that smells like food or fruit. Stick with spicy, woody, or floral scents.
  6. Dress size 8. Medium in tops. Size 10 shoes. 34C. Also, please don’t buy clothes for me, your taste is gross and terrible. Just ask me what I want. I’ve thrown out 99% of the things any man has ever sent me, because you are tacky and boring.

I have an amazon wishlist here.

If you ask very politely, you may have my P.O. Box.