Appeal to My Sense of Entitlement
This is where I’m supposed to write “SPOIL ME PIG!” right?
Too bad, I’m not going to. Not my style.
Instead, I am inviting you to buy me tasteful gifts or send griploads of money. Let me give you some pointers…
- Please don’t try to buy me jewelry on your own. Ask first.
- I love vintage books. Good ones, though. If you send me some bullshit by the Bronte sisters, I will personally hunt you down and rip your skin off.
- My cats love presents. I love my cats. Do the math.
- I will always, always accept charitable donations made in my name as a totally valid gift. Ask me for a list of my favorite charities!
- I sort of love fancy candles lately? My house smells so decadent. My favorite brand is Voluspa – I hate anything that smells like food or fruit. Stick with spicy, woody, or floral scents.
- Dress size 8. Medium in tops. Size 10 shoes. 34C. Also, please don’t buy clothes for me, your taste is gross and terrible. Just ask me what I want. I’ve thrown out 99% of the things any man has ever sent me, because you are tacky and boring.
I have an amazon wishlist here.
If you ask very politely, you may have my P.O. Box.