I Don’t Want You to Spoil Me

… because you have terrible taste and it’s a god-awful burden to open these ugly presents.

I know, I know. Young ladies like gifts and it’s very impressive when you buy them things. I understand I’m breaking the rules here.

But.

I don’t need your money, because I already used your fucking money to start two LLCs and honestly I probably made more than about 95% of you this year.

You guys are really going to have to step-up your game.

Your best bet is to honestly and truly please me when we session. Do what I want. Stop making boring requests. My personal fetish list is like a million times more exciting than yours, because I actually have active real-time experience and a sense of adventure. You are just on the internet jerking-off when your wife is at yoga. Your fetishes are a fucking yawn and not creative. I’m not into it.

I am into getting what I want though. And I want you to degrade yourself while I wear warm fuzzy socks all winter and giggle about it.

For 2016, let’s all consider me an extremist in degradation OF MY CHOOSING.