To All My Fans…
You little shits are so great. You’ve waited literal years to be able to speak to me again regularly (sorry, yo, grad school!) and you are calling me, all fucking excited, and it’s perfect.
I know you’ve all been lost in an endless desert without me, but I am here, as a fucking exquisite oasis, and I am so greatly enjoying taunting you while you sit just outside my gaze, whimpering.
Cry, bitches, cry. Cry your little broken hearts out. It’s making me feel so adored.