Domestic Service Position!

(This has been cross-posted to Fetlife.)

coming to court

Hello, All!

In the near future, I will be moving to another home in the Columbus area. I have loved, very much, my old Victorian haunted house and beautiful street, but the landlord here is a fucking lunatic and I’m a little over paying him for the privilege of hearing him be a prick when I’m the best tenant he’s ever, or will ever, have. (Can you tell I’m pissed?)

Anyway!

I am looking for people who want the opportunity to be domestic servituders, either temporarily or semi-permanently. (Yep, sticking with that.)

  • Any gender
  • Any age but please be able-bodied
  • Able to PAINT! I will be asking you to paint rooms with professional-level skill and care.
  • Able to do basic electrical work! I will be asking you to swap out light fixtures.
  • Owns a ladder because I’m not buying one, lolz.
  • Is not allergic to cats, or you will die in my home. I don’t offer epi pen services.
  • Is not insane and won’t come back to murder me in my sleep. This means that you have to meet with me and get the once-over at the very least, but preferably have referrals from within our local community about how great you are and how you aren’t out to poison my coffee or wear my skin.
  • You must be interested in unusual domestic servitude! This is a game, too! I will be asking you to perform all these duties in strange outfits, or in the middle of the night (sleep deprivation!) and have my coffee ready in the morning. I may ask you to do chores that involve leaving the house (i.e. pick something up) with a time limit and consequences as needed.
  • You must have some sort of income or I’m going to get seriously irritated when I have to give you $5 to go buy electrical tape. You don’t have to show-up here with thousands of dollars, but it would be great if you didn’t need an allowance to run to Lowes.
  • Please have access to, or be willing to rent, a truck. My plan right now is to hire movers (unless you want to be a mover?) so that should be pretty well taken care of. However, if I need, say, strips of that fake crown moulding to decorate, someone is going to need something to put it in.

IN RETURN:

  • You may lick all of my shoes, but only if you then clean them afterward with something other than your mouth. It is probably useful if you know how to boot-black if you take this option.
  • You may bask in my glory in general.
  • Obviously you will be playing D/s games while you work for me. In case you’re wondering, those have traditionally been about $250/hr to experience unless I happened to cherry-pick you in my personal life. Gratis attention from a Pro Domme in a private setting? Whoa. Good for you.
  • You will be one of very few people who knows anything about me personally. Congrats!
  • You will be permitted to rub and worship my feet while I probably ignore you, but maybe while I taunt you. I promise nothing about my mood.
  • You may enjoy unpacking an drooling over my wealth of BDSM equipment and furniture. Woo hoo!
  • You may be submissive to my cats, who will judge you, perhaps not fairly, but I count this as a multi-Dom/me experience.

TO APPLY:
Obviously, meet the requirements. Then write me a literate application letter, with actual paragraphs, and information, including but not limited to references and contact information. Do not write me one block of text about how you are interested and “please check out my pix and let me know.” You are applying for a position. Act like you have some fucking sense.

Send applications to: Yve@thepsychosexualdictator.com