August 07

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How to Introduce Yourself (to Dommes)

In short, it would be helpful if you did it at all.

I know that I am a Domme and an activist in the sexual revolution against boring and unfulfilling sex lives. I get why you think that I’m just dying to hear about your disappointing genitals. But I’m not. Ever. I am never, ever sitting around waiting to hear from strangers about their boners.

Do not write me on facebook or twitter or anywhere else with out-of-nowhere information about your dick.

Introduce yourself first. I will totally talk to you about your bidness if you approach me with any sense of humanity to start. Tip your fucking hat before you pull your wiener out.

Fetlife  is especially vulnerable to this rude communication style. It is a networking site where we all have kink in common, but it is not necessarily a hook-up site. Much of Fetlife is geared toward discussion, community, and networking in real senses. You cannot just write people there with “Do you want to fist my asshole?” as an opener and expect a response. It’s fucking gross, rude, and crazy.

Do not assume we are all dying to receive correspondence from your dick. We aren’t. We really, really aren’t.

If you are writing me personally, for rapport, please do so tactfully and thoughtfully.

If you are writing me for professional services, please do so tactfully and thoughtfully… and maybe, just maybe, read through my website to consider your options.

If you are writing me, having never spoken to me before, and the entire content of your message is about your sense of sexual entitlement and how important your regal pencil dick is, please fucking refrain. I am at the minimum level of giving a shit about your proclivities.

teeny weeny